This has been a long time coming. In the final months before my mat leave ended I took a break from the blog. I said to myself it was so I could enjoy the time with my little guy, and that was partly true, but to be honest I feel like I kinda lost 'me'.
I worked very hard to have a baby, and to be a mom, and during my time off I fully immersed myself in mommyhood and it was wonderful. But I also felt like a piece of me went missing in the end.
Getting ready to go back to work I hoped for a lot of things: status quo, a promotion, a demotion, open my own business, quit, win the lottery or work part time close to home. As my return date neared I worried if I was making the right choice. A classic example of mom guilt.
But then something happened.
I just went back.
The first day was nerve wracking, but by lunch I was feeling better. I felt like the old me, who was also a mom. By the end of the week I felt a balance between "mom" and "Erin" that I haven't achieved in a long time.
As the days passed we found our grove. I learned to sacrifice time. Time in bed to get to work early so I can get things done and leave on time. Time with my son to check off my to do list at work, or maybe even time at work to watch a video of my son doing something cute. What I learned was that it's all ok.
Being a good Mom has made me more focused at work. I get more done than before (because #mommultitasking) and I'd say I'm likely a better mom because I feel a bit more grown up and independent back at work. My time with Finn is special and I value it in a different way (though I miss my random naps, apparently those still aren't ok at work).
In the end we all do what's best for our families, and no matter how tired or overwhelmed I am I'm glad to be back at work and having multiple purposes every day. For our family an engaged mom is a good mom.
My role as a mom and career woman will change over the years, and I hope my kids learn maybe you can't have it all, but hopefully you have all you need at any given time.
I love to cook, entertain, craft and create - all while being a wife, friend, daughter and a mom to a little boy.